By Sharon (SD) Mac For as long as I was with Steve, I worked. And when I wasn’t working, I was caring for him. Serving him. Helping him. Supporting him. Loving him the best way I knew how. That was my rhythm. My normal. My life. My calling as his wife. And I wouldn’t…

By Sharon (SD) Mac The morning after the ER visit, I woke up feeling like I had been hit by a wave I never saw coming. My head was pounding. My body felt heavy. My soul felt numb. Everything inside me wanted to stay in that chair…to curl up, cry, and disappear for a…

By Sharon (SD) Mac A few days after Steve’s funeral, after the girls hugged me goodbye and I dropped them off at the airport. I drove home to an empty house. And I mean empty in a way I had never felt before. The dogs were quiet. Too quiet. They looked at me, then…

By Sharon (SD) Mac That night, after the longest two days of my life, I came home. My body was drained. My eyes burned from crying. My soul felt empty, like I had been holding my breath since that hospital call and hadn’t exhaled yet. The house was quiet when I opened the door.(even…

By Sharon (SD) Mac The morning after I came home, after crying myself to sleep in his chair. I didn’t wake up rested. I just opened my eyes and remembered. Steve’s gone…He really is gone… And yet, somehow, I still had to move. The world didn’t stop. Not even for a moment. That morning,…

By Sharon (SD) Mac Every night after Steve went home to be with the Lord, I found myself back in his chair. It started that first night, when I couldn’t sleep in our bed, couldn’t bear to lay my head where his used to rest. The bed felt too big, too quiet, too final.…

By Sharon (SD) Mac The day after Steve went home was his father’s funeral. I hadn’t slept all night. My body was running on shock; my spirit was holding on by a thread. Morning came, and I knew what I had to do. I got up, packed my car with everything I had accumulated…

By SD Mac Grief is heavy… When Steve passed, there was a part of me that was…Done fighting, done building, done being “strong.” I wanted to disappear, maybe move to a quiet town, sell plants or vegetables…something that didn’t require any thinking or feeling or just away from people. But God didn’t let me…

By Sharon (SD) Mac A few weeks before Steve went home, he began telling me gently, almost every day, “Babe, go home first.” He told me to check on our dogs, to rest, to save money on the hotel. “There’s no reason for you to stay there,” he said. “You’re not even comfortable.” But…

By Sharon (SD) Mac When Steve took his last breath, I swear mine forgot how to work for a bit. I didn’t just lose my husband…I lost my partner, my best friend, my mentor, and my favorite debate opponent. The man who could talk for hours about theology, music, branding, and which business model…